In it for the Cake
by katdance666
Summary: Help! Ginny’s caught up in the middle of some wild matchmaking schemes with nothing but some rather pukeinducing bridesmaid’s robes for comfort, and all she can think of to say in resistance is that her piece of cake had better be freaking huge.
1. Prologue: Here's to You

Summary: Two-by-two, Ginny's friends and family are pairing off and leaving her alone for the upcoming wedding. Unfortunately, this results in her becoming somewhat of a charity case for the happy couples, and many painful blind dates ensue.

Disclaimer: Not mine, just borrowing the cool characters of the amazing JKR, and ignoring the fact that many of the mentioned ones are dead. MOVE OVER CLEOPATRA.

_Author's Note:__ So yeah, I've done it again, haven't I? Posted a new long shot before I've even finished the next chapter of the various other ones I'm supposed to be working on. Ah well. I'm actually working on the other ones too, I promise! (And I suppose mentioning the various one-shots, plus another long-shot I've started would be a bad idea, right?)_

_But alas, that is the sad truth of it. And I'm going to concentrate more from now on! I was in France for a while for school, so I'm back and that's that._

_And I think this is looking at about 6 chapters, maybe? But this is technically chapter one, even though I'm kind of describing it as the prologue. So take it as either, but it'll probably add up to 6 chapters... Because then I'll have actually finished a story. And that will be satisfying. Unless no one reviews or wants me to write more of this one. In which case I will probably write it anyway, just for the heck of it, but still be quite sad, shameless review-whore that I am…_

_Oh well. And RIP all the people in Deathly Hallows, which was AMAZING, by the way, and over which I spent a great deal of time crying my eyes out._

_Read a fic that just mentioned the other day, nearly started bawling. It's not healthy. How did you guys like DH?_

_-K_

In it for the Cake

Chapter 1- Here's to You

Ginny's POV:

Sometimes, it's easy to feel alone and isolated in the world. It's not quite so easy to actually BE the only single person in existence. But somehow, I've managed it.

That's right. I'm Ginevra Weasley and "Wizards abhor me" is probably inked across my forehead by now.

And as if being this noticeably single in the first place isn't bad enough, all of my friends seem to be pairing off. (See, this started with Bill and sodding Fleur. And then Fred and George and Oliver Wood caught on, and they got together with Ange Johnson and Alicia Spinnet and Katie Bell, so there was the Gryffindor Quidditch Team essentially gone. And then Harry and I set up that thing with Remus and Tonks and the laundry, so off they went… Even bloody Malfoy is snogging someone! Even if she does look like a pug…)

And now Ron and Hermione have to go and get married! I mean, it's not like we didn't see it coming, because believe me, we did, but at the moment, they're just another happy couple rubbing my nose in my current –and yet ever so eternal- status of singledom.

—————

So this is how Ginny ended up back in Madam Malkin's for the first time in about seven years, thinking _Here's to you, whoever came up with pink ruffles_, and mentally sticking up her middle finger.

"Awww, I think you look cute," Harry said, leaning against the opposite wall and smirking at Ginny's magically magnified reflection.

She physically stuck up her middle finger this time, glaring so hard at him through the mirror she thought it might crack. But he just grinned and said "Morning, Mrs. Weasley."

Ginny quickly snapped the offending finger down, following his gaze nervously. She was greeted by a furiously blushing Hermione, who cooed upon seeing her "Oh Ginny, you look so pretty!" Ginny glared some more and muttered 'sodding prat' darkly in Harry's general direction.

"Doesn't she look pretty, Harry?" Hermione looked pointedly at him. He stared at the floor and a faint pink tinge appeared at the top of his cheeks.

Ginny didn't even wait for an answer from him and hissed that she looked like a filly pink bat, thank you very much. Hermione ignored her, frowned and narrowed her eyes at the visible side of Harry's head, repeating "I said, doesn't Ginny look pretty, Harry?"

He coughed awkwardly and managed a "Yeah, pretty, yeah." An awkward silence ensued and threatened to take over the entire shop before Hermione gave up with a sigh and turned back to Ginny.

"Well I think the colour suits you nicely, Ginny. And I'm sure Ron'll agree with me once he gets here."

"If he does, I'll bloody well hex his nose off!" Ginny grumbled in response, turning her back on her huge ruffled reflection and stamping back into her dressing room.

From inside the little room, she heard a slapping sound and a disgruntled groan. Hermione had obviously hit Harry upside the head.

"_Doesn't she look nice_, I say; _don't you think she looks pretty, Harry_, I say. _FRILLY PINK BAT_, she says. You say absolutely SQUAT!"

"But she _did_ look like a frilly pink bat Hermione-"

Another slapping sound could be heard and Ginny sighed, moodily wrenching off the clump of ruffles currently masquerading as wedding-party-attire that were stuck to her hips.

"But you shouldn't have let _her_ keep thinking that! You were at _least_ supposed to say she looked pretty, never mind the robes. Honestly Harry, don't you know ANYTHING about girls?!"

And then the shop bell signaled the arrival of another customer, and Ginny heard Ron pipe up:

"Merlin, I should say not! Don't you remember the Cho Fiasco, Hermione?"

Ginny hurriedly finished pulling up her jeans and made quite sure to slam the dressing room door (as hard as she could) on her way out. They all jumped and Ron swore loudly, earning a nasty look from Madam Malkin, highly reminiscent of the looks they used to get from their old school librarian, Madam Pince.

Ron then opened his mouth as if to continue their conversation, but Hermione noted the rather murderous gleam in Ginny's eyes, kicked him on the shin, and said sharply "And neither do you, Ron," –which could easily have been about the mention of Cho, or about knowledge of girls- "Let's go and pay for Ginny's robes."

"What'd I do?" he mouthed at Harry as he was lead away.

"NOW, Ron!"

"OW! Coming…"

Ginny rolled her eyes and glared at his back once more for good measure, but she was somewhat more cheery now that he had been kicked and was having to stand at the counter being lectured by his fiancée.

—————

Ginny's POV:

So now I really want the ability to melt into the ground whenever someone brings up something remotely uncomfortable. Which is rather a lot of the time, come to think of it.

Anyway, now the 'happy couples' seem to have excepted me as an extreme charity case. And this would be bad enough without them actually acting upon their concerns!

My main benefactors are an odd duo. My sister in law, Phle-Fleur, and my about-to-be sister in law, Hermione. And really, Hermione's one to talk, because the only guy she's ever _properly_ dated (aside from my stupid brother) is Krum, and she therefore spent most of her young life single with poofy hair. (Albeit Krum _is_ an internationally worshipped quidditch-God-slash-sex-sybol…)

But back to the point; the two of them have taken to harassing me about the blatant lack of wizards in my life, and expecting me to be able to do something about it, while still managing to drop ridiculously obvious hints about boys-who-lived into the conversation. I mean, they seem to have gotten it into their heads that I still like him or something. Puh-lease. I was in second year! What normal 12-year-old doesn't develop at least one embarrassing crush on a celebrity of some sort?

(Though it might have been a tad less embarrassing if my whole family hadn't known-and discussed it very loudly and openly, I might add-, if he hadn't gone to my school, and especially if he hadn't been the one to save my life. Repeatedly, actually, throughout our school years. Then again, if he hadn't gone to our school and befriended my brother and learned to play quidditch and fight dark wizards, we all would have been denied some of those plain attractive moments… Like victorious and/or sweaty attractive moments after Quidditch at Hogwarts, or after defeating You-Know-Who for about the seventh time. Mmmm…)

—————

The day after their visit to Madam Malkin's, Ginny was roped into having coffee bun with the previously mentioned sisters-in-law. And she was certainly not happy about it.

"Zat eez all very well, Ginevra, but at ze very least you will require an escort for ze wedding. A young woman can 'ardly accompany 'erself," Fleur said severely, patting her lips daintily with her serviette.

"She's right, Ginny. How would you like to be the only one without a date?" said Hermione, pouring herself some more black coffee.

Ginny grabbed a chocolate muffin out of the basket in front of them and dropped it onto her saucer, causing some of her tea to splash out of the mug and onto her white shirt.

"Bugger," she groaned, licking her finger and rubbing at the brown patch on her front, while Fleur wrinkled her nose in distaste. "And I _won't_ be the only one without a date. What about Angelina? She and Fred weren't speaking last week."

Hermione smiled and rolled her eyes, "They're on again. She's coming round to The Burrow for tea tonight."

Ginny snorted in annoyance and Fleur's look of distaste increased.

"What about Gabrielle, hmmm? Bet _she_ won't have a date!"

Fleur looked deeply offended by this suggestion and snapped "Of course she will! I would never dream of letting my seester attend alone! And as eef she would desire zis. A great number of young boys are très fond of 'er. And chocolat ees not good for ze skin, Ginevra," she eyed Ginny's muffin disdainfully, " 'Ow do you eexpect to find a wizard eef your skin becomes any more agitated?"

"These are FRECKLES!" Ginny snapped back, taking a defiant –and rather large- bite out of her muffin and then choking on it. Hermione rapped her on the back and received a resentful "cheers" before Ginny continued:

"Charlie doesn't have a girlfriend. _He'll_ be alone."

"I think Ron said he's bringing a friend from Romania."

"Damn."

"And een any case, eet ees a very different zing for a man to come alone."

"Well what about Luna?"

"She and Lee Jordan are going together," Hermione explained. At Ginny's mystified expression, she attempted to clarify further with "Fred and George say he doesn't even really understand it. She just asked him to go with her when he was over at the weekend to see Fred and George, and she was waiting for you to finished packing your bag to go over to her place."

"Indeed, it seems zat everyone een ze 'ole world ees staying at your 'ome until ze wedding. 'Ow we all can fit, I will never know, but Bill and I cannot move two steps together without being crashed eento by someone!"

Ginny and Hermione rolled their eyes. Ginny thought snidely '_At least you _get _to stay there; I've been kicked out of my own house for an entire week!_'

"Fine (though I can't see how everyone just _forgot_ to mention that to me!). Aunty Muriel? Ha!"

"Erm, sorry Ginny, but your Aunty Muriel has a live-in partner, who is also coming."

"Percy?! Yeah, Percy-"

"-is bringing another intern from the ministry."

"NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM?!"

"Well, see, it's rather interesting that you should mention him, because that sort of brings us to our little proposition (since you don't want to solve your problem simply by admitting your feelings for other people and _they_ are utterly useless at this sort of thing…)" –loud and annoyed coughing was coming from Ginny's side of the table- "Well we have an idea." Hermione put down her coffee cup.

Fleur and Hermione exchanged a look, and Ginny could tell that they'd rehearsed this speech, which didn't bode too well for her.

"We would like to find you a date. For ze wedding, oui, but per'aps for longer. I myself 'ave excellent taste in men-" Hermione pursed her lips at this, as if she'd been taking lesson from Mrs. Weasley, "and to be 'onest, at zis point een your life it ees just sad not to be with someone, so we theenk we can 'elp you to choose one before ze wdding."

"Which basically means you have a date tomorrow night, so get some sleep and we'll be over at Luna's" (where Ginny was staying until Ron and Hermione's wedding, because she hadn't really felt like sharing a tent in the back yard with Fred and George for a week, especially since Perkins' old one was still somewhere in the Forest of Dean) "tomorrow evening to get you ready."

Hermione was standing up and pulling on her jacket.

"À demain, Ginevra," Fleur said, also standing, and kissing Ginny once on each cheek.

"Wait, huh?" Ginny said slowly. Then it clicked.

"WHAT!? I DON'T WANT A DATE! And what the blazes does that have to do with Nevi- OH NO. No, I refuse! No way in Merlin's lifetime am I going on a date with Neville! Or anyone! Maybe I'm going to become a Nun! Or Amish!"

"Bye Ginny," Hermione said cheerfully, joining Fleur at the door.

Ginny stood up and yelled after them "I WON'T DO IT! YOU'LL SEE!"

And then they were gone, and the other inhabitants of the Leaky Cauldron were staring at her, and she was left with, instead of the desired ideas for getting out of this, just one thought:

My piece of wedding cake had better be freaking huge.


	2. Neville Longbottom

_Author's Note:__ Probably some of the fastest updating I've ever done. Wow. (bows proudly)_

_And thank you to you two reviewers. You know who you are. (assumption; correct me if I'm wrong). Makes my day, and you each get a hug from a Harry Potter character of your choice as a reward._

_And don't you just love Neville? Sad, pathetic git, as Ron might describe him._

_Enjoy. That's what it's here for._

_-K_

**Disclaimer: Still not mine.**

Chapter 1 – Neville Longbottom

Monday morning:

Ginny's POV:

Ha! I bet they think they've gotten away with it! Well they're WRONG.

A date with Neville! What were they thinking?! I'll tell you what they were thinking; they were thinking I'd go along with it. That I'm just sooo desperate or hormonal that I would just nod my head like a good girl and let them play dress up. Merlin. NO one is that hormonal-slash-desperate (sorry Neville).

And I was serious yesterday when I said I wouldn't do it. I absolutely refuse. Neville is my friend, but I would NEVER date him. _Will_ never date him. Not in a million, kazillion, bagillion years.

————

And that evening just proved Ginny's determination and bloody-mindedness, as seven fifteen rolled around and found her in a little green dress, at Luna's, being given a last once-over by Fleur and Hermione, while Luna read The Quibbler upside-down in a mossy armchair.

"You look fine, I theenk," Fleur said, after making Ginny turn in a continuous circle until they were all dizzy. "Though I was correct about zat chocolat."

Ginny looked like she could have breathed fire, or at least executed a well-aimed Bat-Bogey hex, which Hermione perceptively noticed, and therefore tried to prevent by saying "You look fabulous, Ginny. Now, do you have everything?"

Ginny snorted sardonically and opened her purse, thrusting it forward for Hermione to inspect. As it had been mainly she and Fleur who had packed it, Ginny couldn't see why another contents check was really necessary, but if she had learned anything from that night, it was that arguing with her sisters-in-law only made the process that much slower and more painful, and never actually achieved anything more than worse tempers and the occasional swear-word (Ginny's work, of course).

The purse contained:

-2 lipsticks (to clarify: 2 _different_ lipsticks "depending on whether the place he takes you is fancy or casual")

-emergency rations of Sleekeazy's hair potion ("in case 'e takes you somewhere outside; eet ees very windy today")

-a pair of stylish trousers-Fleur's ("in case you do something active, or spill something on your dress-" "which we all know ees a more-zan-likely possibility") And yet, Ginny fumed, she was going to have to do the 'something active' in heels-also Fleur's, as Fleur would not permit her to bring a more comfortable pair of shoes, insisting that "nice shoes are essential on a date of any sort, no matter what one may be doing. You are no real woman eef you cannot do everything beautifully in beautiful shoes", but Ginny did happily note that Hermione hastily moved her own, leather-school-shoe-clad feet out of Fleur's line of peripheral vision.

-two condoms (courtesy of Fred and George, but Ginny thought they'd been joking. Or she _hoped_ they had been…)

-and a chocolate frog, which she had managed to sneak past Fleur earlier, but which Hermione now confiscated, rolling her eyes.

"It looks like you're good to go. Now, he should be here in about ten minutes, so we'll just wait to see you off…"

"Why Hermione," Ginny smirked, "one might start to get the feeling that you don't trust me to go on this date…"

Hermione looked sufficiently guilty, in Ginny's opinion, but Fleur stopped her apologizing by saying waspishly, "We do not. We 'get ze feeling' zat, eef left to your own devices, you might, 'ow they say… 'do a bunk'?"

Ginny scowled at Fleur and sat down on the nearest leaf-resembling footstool.

————

Ten minutes later, Neville was not there. In fact, in half an hour, he was still not there. And in forty-five minutes, Fleur muttered darkly to a pacing Hermione, "Zis ees typical. I told you 'e did not sound worth bothering with, but oh no. You would not 'ear of eet. Tomorrow, I choose."

"Yes yes, fine, fine. All my fault. I just want to know where he is. I hope he's okay."

"Uhm, Hermione? You do realize that your "yes, yes, fine"-ing just consentually put me in her hands? For finding a date? A date I didn't even know I was going on?" Ginny looked at Hermione like she was out of her mind.

"Quiet, Ginny; what was that Luna, sorry?"

Luna's vague eyes appeared over the top (well, the bottom) of her magazine, and she repeated what she had apparently tried to say once already; "Someone's knocking on the door."

"Oh good!" Hermione said, clapping her hands. "That'll be Neville. Come on, Ginny."

Ginny got up to follow (planning to stamp all the way to the front door), and Fleur whispered to her, "Why does zat strange girl read 'er magazine upside-down?"

Ginny ignored her, picked up her purse and bade Luna farewell, trudging toward the door like a woman headed for the gallows.

"Open the door then," Hermione hissed bossily at Ginny.

Ginny grimaced and pulled the handle to reveal a very red-faced and out-of-breath Neville, covered in black powder, who appeared to be chastising an inanimate object.

"You stupid, stupid ball! Why can't you ever tell me what it IS I've forg- Oh, Ginny,"-pant-"hi."

"Hey Neville." Ginny shook her head lightly at the familiar boy before her, now hastily shoving her remembrall back into a pocket.

Hermione tutted impatiently at her from behind the door, and Ginny sighed.

"Won't you come in?" she practically snarled.

"Thanks. Hi Hermione."

"Hi Neville. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, it is," he exhaled deeply. "Sorry I'm late but I, well, I forgot. And then I remembered, and I flooed straight over, but I forgot you told me to pick Ginny up here, so I tried to floo here, but it didn't work and I just ended up swallowing a lot of soot, and Fred and George just started laughingf, so it took me even longer to get it out of them that Luna doesn't have a fireplace, so then I was really _really_ late, so I just ran over here so I wouldn't be any later."

Fleur, hovering in the doorway, was a picture of indignant, non-believing horror at such sad composure from a date, and Ginny slammed her head against the door a few times (to make her opinions on the situation quite clear to Hermione) as she shut it behind Neville.

Hermione sighed and said "Ah well. You're here now, and that's what counts, so why don't the two of you get going and have a nice evening anyway."

"Er, okay. Bye then, Hermione."

Ginny wrenched the door open again and practically threw Neville out before stalking out herself, and slamming the door with all the strength she could muster. Neville looked quite intimidated.

"So," Ginny said awkwardly. "Where're we headed?"

Neville shifted uncomfortably for a little while, before Ginny coughed and he finally admitted (very quickly and all in one breath) that he would have "lost-the-reservation-at-the-restaurant-by-now" because he had been so late, but that he knew "a-place-that-isn't-too-far-from-here,-if-you-don't-mind-walking…"

Ginny thought of her very thinly high-heeled shoes and groaned inwardly, but on the outside, managed a submissive "Is it far?"

Neville smiled and said, "Nah, just past that wood," pointing to a the thick, dark mass of trees and undergrowth on their right. "It's a shortcut. I just need to find the path again. It's been a few years since I've been there."

Ginny nodded and tried not to think 'and why on Earth would I have a bad feeling about letting _Neville_ take me on a shortcut through a big dark scary wood?", unfortunately spotting the remembrall glowing forebodingly red from Neville's pocket opening.

————

"Neville?"

"Erm, yes Ginny?"

"Are we lost?"

"Nah…"

…

"Neville?"

"Erm, yes Ginny?"

"WE'RE LOST."

"Oh, uh, really? I hadn't noticed. See, the trees here are just so rare, I just-"

"Neville!"

"Erm, yes Ginny?"

"I. DON'T. CARE. Just un-lost us. Now!"

"Erm, okay then."

…

"Do you have any idea as to how I could possibly go about un-losting us?"

"ARGGGGGGGGGH!!!"

"Okay, that's a no then. No matter."

…

"You could try the four-point spell?"

"Oh, good idea Ginny; _Point Me_. Okay, so North is thattaway."

"So it would seem."

…

"Um, Ginny?"

"WHAT, Neville?!"

"Which way do we want to go anyway?"

"How the BLAZES am I supposed to know which direction Luna lives in?!"

"I see. So yes, I'm afraid we're a bit lost."

"Thank you for that observation, Neville. It really helps the situation a lot."

…

"Well, Hermione and Fleur were right; best date I've ever been on."

"Really?"

"NO!"

"Oh."


End file.
